think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize