i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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