i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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