Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
