whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
