can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
