Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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