I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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