Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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