yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
It's shark week go big or go home
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize