i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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