You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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