ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize