you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
