Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
