I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Randomize
