I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize