At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
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