I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So much rum. So many feels.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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