Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
