Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize