I would go down on you faster than GM stock
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
