You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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