and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
