To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My dick has a subreddit
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
