every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
