Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize