see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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