i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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