Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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