He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
