So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
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I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
not ubering you a puppy