saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA