remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack