$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.