matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.