I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
who are you talking about my vagina to?!