she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize