Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
being pregnant is like rehab
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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