I must be too annoying 4 u.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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