He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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