Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
