I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize