Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Randomize
