I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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