please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
