Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
