We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
