i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
