Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize