I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize