i think my mom watched the whole time
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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