but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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