Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize