Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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