I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
