just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
