Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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