Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
