He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
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I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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